To a stranger- letter 3

Back to writing

I wanted to write about the full moon and the irony in the elections from weeks ago, about the mistake that I made and nobody noticed, because it was an important day and everyone had their eyes on the sky and on the TV screens. I wanted to ask why no one saw me walking to the top of the hill, nervously searching for answers in the distance of the Aegean, sprinkled with tiny shadows of the sailing boats? Why no one paid attention to the “Poets of the fall” who ran out of lyrics but nevertheless left me an album with lessons and pale roses meant to be burgundy red, that lost their color when he kissed me for a last time?

Instead, I locked my six senses in a sarcophagus, together with the lost control over the forbidden emotions of an even more forbidden night and I gave up to the dancing fire while stars were falling, crying, that he can no longer be my “forever summer”.  I was consumed by the agony, by the loneliness that followed and I missed the beauty of the full moon, I gave another reason to Fate to shower me with brutality, to wake me up and force me to find new dreams, new meaning in the morning coffee and the sunset that survived the rain and the black clouds.

In a way, the intruders that trashed my home and my privacy with much more than a simple disrespect, that made me feel what ‘loss’ really means, did me a favor. It will take time to stop living, day and night, locked in metal and glass, isolated and not trusting life and people, but I got Fate’s point. Unreasonable grief brings only shadows and there is no hope, no new beginnings in those dark corners where we feel sorry for the lost battles and soldiers, the only way to fight the unexpected woes is to keep going and never look back. And here I am, moving on and writing again …  hungry for the words and the thoughts of others!

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“Solitude” by Hugo Ramos

© 2012  Broken Sparkles

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