Regret

Regret

I’ve been here before, haven’t I?

With my bare feet burning in snow,
carelessly holding spike of sorrow,
assembling directions out of another lost trial
but do I remember the exit and which road to follow?

Do I hope to break free, to rescue the moral left in me?
Blind, deaf and senseless is there a chance to borrow?

Love only? How did my heart let it be enough?
Old matches? How did I let them turn into fire?
And that letter with scribbles in Arabic that
you thought I won’t be able to read … Damn it!

Once again I will change my relationship status from
“happily in love” to “still in love, but torn by doubt”.

Once again, I will watch regret marching next to me,
I will let disappointment to teach me what grief is,
to accept it and count the tears as dear lessons,
once again, I will turn every wrong desire away.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Regret” by YourForgiveness on deviantart.com

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© 2011  Broken Sparkles

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Failure

 Failure

I failed again, like a bolt from the blue.
Foolish belief in love, in you,
desperate hope to see I’m worth,
I’m special for you, it all dwindled.

I failed in trying to give you a universe,
because the best was never good enough,
even taking all, it didn’t stop you to ask
for more, for the impossible to turn to possible.

You declared unsuccessful, my stubborn addiction
to fairy tales and stories with happy end.
I bleed, I suffer now, trying to find the exit.
It hurts to get rid off the dreams and the memories.
I deny to accept that people are not only people,
but cruel parts in gigantic machine “Ambition”.

I refuse to let go of my trust in life,
in descent life possible for anyone of us.
Tomorrow will be better and different.
I will rise up, even covered in broken ashes.
I will stand equal with the strength
of  fire, water, air and earth.

With few pieces of beauty, half of my heart
and non of my sensibility, but on my two feet,
adding another lesson to the book of life,
to not build a life I wouldn’t survive without,
to not loose faith in the day when
I will be the one to choose the winning ticket
in the lottery called “Love”.

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Image by RedSheep Photography

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© 2010  Broken Sparkles