Broken house

For a person who adores love poetry and tries to write about romance and passion mostly, weirdly, I don’t watch romantic movies, I prefer thrillers and crime stories. Many times I’ve wondered if some of those horrible things in the movies happen to me how will I react, what will I feel? One thing I can tell you, no movie can prepare you for a bad moment that had turned into a reality!

A week ago I came home late in the evening, dreaming to go to bed and just sleep, I unlocked the entrance door, only to find out that someone had broken into my house through the balcony door. I’ve seen people in movies  sitting down on the floor from the shock, not being able to process what has happened, I can tell you, the bad adrenaline that comes into your veins at the sight of your cupboards emptied on the floor, doesn’t let you sit, but just walk around in circles, trying to remember the number of the police.

I’m not the first and probably I won’t be the last to go through such experience, unfortunately freedom and democracy come with violence and crime. And I don’t feel sorry for the money or the electronic devices stolen, I’ll work, make more money and purchase new iPod, new laptop, new mobile, new DVD or new anything that I need to have around. And it’s not about the jewelry missing/ apart from a golden chain I had from my granny/, I’ll get new ones, even shinier and pretties bracelets. It’s about the privacy and the inside peace someone broke into, it’s about the fact that even in a free world one has to live locked and isolated to keep his personal moments sacred.

It bothered me that I found the box with hand-written letters from friends thrown on the ground and the paper was marked by ugly, dirty shoes. It bothered me that on my computer I had nearly 170 pages of the book I was writing and research about it, that silly me didn’t have the time to back up completely. It’s not that I can’t start from the beginning, I am a stubborn when it comes to achieving things, but one year of good writing is now gone and who knows if I will get the same mood to rewrite everything from the beginning.

I am currently without a laptop, but hopefully I will have a new one in the next couple of weeks. Until then, don’t think that I’ve forgotten you, be well and smile! Love and peace from “a-little-broken” me!

What if … ?


What if …?

What if the flow of unpredictable words you adore
and wait with impatience to hear,
because it comes with the language of my heart,
with the alphabet of my existence,
what if this continuous flow one day stops
and I have no more beautiful things to tell you,
no more stories of miracles to share with you?

Will you go to the first bookstore and replace my fairy tales
with a novel randomly chosen from the first bookshelf you saw?
Or will you try to find new inspiration to touch my lips with,
so I could speak to you again?

What if the brilliance, the enigma in my eyes
that you always wonder how to explain,
because it comes from a world of mystery,
from a land not mentioned in any geographic maps,
what if this secret of my look one day is gone
and I have no more potential to see you as someone special,
no more effort left to look at you with love?

Will you forget the color of my eyes and discover
new eyes to look at, in the crowd of people ahead of you?
Or will you make me see the different, non-existing side of you
and make me love you even more because of it?

What if the temptation that comes out of my body
and you put on pedestal with a triumph, ignoring our weak powers,
glorifying the first time you owned me,
what if this allurement, together with my body,
one day turns into ashes and I have no more feelings to offer,
not even a single act of care?

Will you accept the dry lust from a woman-stranger you will
accidentally meet in a bar, drunk, because you no longer have me?
Or will you read all scientific books to learn new ways to wake up
the volcano of hidden passion, buried deep inside of my body?

What if my heart that is the center of our lives,
both, mine and yours, because is connected to your heart
like a mom and a baby with an umbilical cord,
what if this heart one day choose to take a different path
and I have no more stability to comfort you with,
no more hopes and dreams to go after?

Will you stop hoping and dreaming too and take the road
to nowhere so you could forget about the memories of me?
Or will you collect in a silver jar
two drops of rain, piece of sunshine and a snowflake
and give them to an African magician to create
a new heart I can love you with again?

What if in just one day what we thought is good for us
suddenly appears not to be?
Will you surrender and accept the waste of tune with silence,
like many others did?
Or will you still stand by me and climb mountains, swim oceans,
make the impossible possible to bring it all back ?


“What if …?” by Blaga Todorova


© 2011  Broken Sparkles



“All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche


In one of the riots in the past 3 months, due to the deliriously unbalanced situation in the country, my favorite coffee shop was burned down. I was extremely sad and upset, first, with the actions of people and second, because they took away my calm spot, my “me-time” place. Last week I found a new “residence” for my thoughts and peace. On the image below is the view from the coffee shop that I couldn’t keep only to myself. I sat there for more than two hours, waiting to take a shot only with a couple walking on the alley, but it was worth the waiting and the coffee was drop-dead-delicious.  I can’t wait to have my next day off so I can go there again. Love & peace from dreamy me …


“Promenade” by Blaga Todorova, Zappio area, Athens


© 2012  Broken Sparkles